You Know You're From Florida When...

This little email joke sums up a lot of my rants regarding tourists, and the think they assume about those of us who live here. It really ought to be titled "You know Someone Is NOT From Florida When they Think Like This!"

"Down South" means Key West.
-Yeah, pretty much....sometimes we are referring to Miami or West Palm though

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
-Who wrote this? A tourist? I've never heard of any Floridian refer to Pensacola this way

Flip-flops are everyday wear.
-No..no they are not, you idiots. Guess what? We have jobs, and lives, just like everyone else...we don't all wear flip flops every day. Occasionally we can even be found wearing sneakers or dress shoes!

Shoes are for business meetings and church.
-No...again, we don't live in flip flops, and frankly most of us know why it's a stupid idea to go barefoot outside when it's hot out. YOU try having a 2nd degree burn that covers the entire ball and heel of your foot from the pavement that's so hot you could LITERALLY cook an egg.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.
-No, they are not. Not for any person who has an ounce of respect or class at least.

Socks are only for bowling.
-Please, just read the prior three answers.

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.
-Actually, fresh is not always the greatest...it really depends on what kind of oranges you are using. The ones in my yard for example, do not make the best juice...they are great for eating though.

Tap water makes you vomit.
-What the hell does this have to do with Florida? Not a damn thing. For the record though, it really depends on the city you live in. Here, it's not so bad, but water from the City of Melbourne is NASTY

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
-I suppose....but this isn't a Florida thing. This is really a thing that is reserved more for your "down home" southern states...Georgia, Mississippi, etc.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
-Nope...we don't have water quite close enough for their liking...but we see them often.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
-Well, yeah, I will admit, I do.

You measure distance in minutes.
-Sometimes...and I also know that not every damned thing in the state is 15 minutes from Disney!

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
-Please refer back to the flip flop statement. We do have normal clothing...and it does get chilly down here in the winter. It's not COLD, but it's plenty chilly enough to wear sweaters and sweatshirts. Besides that, you tourists REALLY ought to know that you should have a sweatshirt handy at all times of the year, because once you morons get sunburned, you're going to learn that as soon as you are out of the sun, you get chills.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
-I could care less.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
-Just like everyone in the country, I use an umbrella when I don't feel like getting wet! Whether the rain is over in five minutes or not is really not important.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
Umm...no?

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
-The tallest "mountain" in the state is Space Mountain at WDW.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
-Shade doesn't do you any good anyhow.

Your winter coat is made of denim
-Well that's just stupid.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
-Any moron with eyes could tell that.

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
-No, actually most of us are really quite annoyed at all the ancient people here.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
-No, believe it or not, we have fairly distinguishable seasons, and our idea of hot isn't the same as yours.

It's not "pop." It's "soda" or "coke."
-It's soda, unless what we actually WANT is Coca-Cola. Then we order Coke.

Anything under 70 is chilly.
-No...that's pleasant. Under 60 is chilly.

You've attended a hurricane party.
-No...we can't afford to throw parties every two weeks.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
-No, we go for full days, we just don't go at the busiest times of the year.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
-Believe it or not, there are a lot of us who do not have cockroaches in our homes. We also understand the NECESSITY of pest control to keep them out.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee , Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
-They aren't that difficult...you people are just trying too hard.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
-Boats are a pain in the ass.

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
-Yes....have you ever driven through a town in your state to get to another?

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag.
-That could happen anywhere...fishing is not only popular in Florida.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
-Actually, since I lived in MA until I was 10, this is untrue. Even still, you morons are stereotyping again. There are TONS of us without pools, because we know that the cost of keeping a pool up all year long is enormous.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
-There are lots of people down here who cannot swim

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
-Sure, we don't like it that way though

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!
-Yes, we do. We like to avoid getting stung by these buggers....however it's not necessarily common everywhere in the state to encounter stingrays.

You could swim before you could read.
-Yes, we teach our kids to swim early. It's easier for most kids to learn to swim than to read. Furthermore, if you've ever watched the news down here in the summertime, and heard just how many kids DROWN because their parents were too stupid to watch them, and couldn't be bothered teaching them to swim, you would understand WHY we teach them early.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
-I think every business should aspire to be more like Publix.

Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
-Yeah, this is always good...make fun of the fact that we were hammered by hurricane after hurricane. You know what, at least we PREPARED and took care OF OUR OWN, rather than sitting here helpless waiting for handouts after being too stupid to evacuate when told to, and too ignorant to prepare properly for what could happen.

You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it
got dark.
-What the hell? Who tells you morons these things?

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
-See the answer about the roofs. We know full damn well that a Cat 2 can do a LOT of damage, and they are all worth taking seriously. Ok...maybe not a Cat 1.

You dread the lovebug seasons.
-Do you like bugs? Do you like hundreds of thousands of bugs? Neither do we.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
-It saves time when talking, and we all know what we are talking about.

You know why flamingos are pink.
-Yeah, so?

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
-A Six foot gator is still damned big!

You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.
-Nope....I havent seen snow SINCE then

When the northerners complain that 80 is 'so hot', you just stand there and smile.
-The 80's are still pretty hot....we don't have a monopoly on heat, just like they don't have a monopoly on cold.

You refer to the seasons as "Tourist Season", "Fire Season" "Hurricane Season" and "Mosquito Season"
-Every freaking day is tourist season. Mosquitos go into hiding for maybe 2 weeks. Hurricane season spans a good portion of the year. Fire season overlaps the hurricanes. Now there's Snowbird Season...that's a whole other story, they are WORSE than tourists.

It's THAT time again...

If you live in Florida, you know all too well that June 1 is the start of the official hurricane season. You also know that we are unlikely to see any action before fall. I hate hurricane season. I don't hate it because I'm afraid of a killer storm, although that's always a worry of course. I hate it because with the season comes incredible amounts of insanity and stupidity. The instant a storm is named and might possibly be a threat to this area, the crazies come out to play. Nearly every night on the news you will hear about the standard hurricane preparations. Almost nobody actually takes these suggestions. Instead, let's go through what actually happens when people try to prepare for a hurricane.

Step 1: Buy every drop of gasoline you possibly can, even if you have absolutely no use for it. It will be common to see people bringing every conceivable gasoline storage container, legal or not, to local gas stations to wait in line and buy every drop. Why? Well you might need it so that when something sparks in the garage that you are storing it in, your house will burn down instead of being destroyed by an "act of God" since there is no real home owner's insurance to be had here anymore. If for some reason your home does not burn to the ground because you were born one clown short of a circus, then you can switch roles, and be an opportunistic jerk, and sell that gas for triple or quadruple what you paid for it. That is, you can until someone catches you, in which case your status returns to stupid.

Step 2: BUY ALL THE SPAM! Why? I don't know...who really eats that crap? Doesn't matter....SPAM and anything that resembles it will be disappearing from the shelves like you wouldn't believe. The vienna sausages, deviled ham, and other shelf stable canned food-like items will also disappear. For some odd reason, mayonnaise and mustard will also fly off the shelves. Don't ask me why. Go ask the idiot that has no real food, and no water, and is living on condiments.

Step 3: Wood....must buy plywood! After you've bought every USELESS thing the grocery store has to offer, go to the home improvement store. Buy as much plywood as you possibly can. Even though it's a pain in the neck to put up, and you only have a few windows, buy it all. You will need those sheets of plywood leaning up against the wall in the garage. These will serve as fuel for the fire you started as a result of step one.

Step 4: Throw it in the pool! If you have ANYTHING outside of your home, you should throw it in the pool immediately. I don't understand this one either. I'm the idiot that just drags my crap INSIDE the house, or in to the garage that, due to my neglect of steps one and three, will sadly not catch on fire in that manner. However, it is customary to throw EVERYTHING into the pool. My best guess is that this is so that you have something to entertain you when it's 100+ degrees outside and you have no power. Now you can spend that free time digging crap up off the bottom of the pool. This activity is also entertainment for the neighbors who will point and laugh.

Step 5: Don't Trim! Don't you dare trim back those stupid trees you spent a fortune on in your yard. Why on EARTH would you DO that? If you do that, what is going to be left to fly through your neighbors' windows? These branches won't fly through your windows, but since your neighbors couldn't buy ANYTHING to board their windows with (see step 3) your thoughtfulness on this manner would be appreciated.

Long time, no blog

Forgive me, life has been....well, life! I am still at the blood bank, but only for two more weeks. Don't get me wrong, I love it there, and I love the people I work with, but it's not a job with a terribly exciting future. I can maybe get a full time position, in a few years when someone retires. Even then, to get my full time status and get their "free" benefits, I will have to take a pay cut, of nearly $2 per hour. I took a chance, and submitted my resume to Osler Medical, in Melbourne. They called me in less than 24 hours, and I got an offer. Same money I make now, but FT, with benefits (GOOD benefits), paid time off, and a really good opportunity to go further. They hired me as a lab assistant, so they will teach me to work the whole lab. That gives me so much more versatility, I just can't turn down that offer.

Other than that, there isn't much going on. Life is going mostly smoothly. Work, family, and finally being, for the most part, financially comfortable and secure. I will write more soon. As soon as I have something to write at least.

I Suck

I swore I would keep this blog updated. I suck....working full time has taken its toll on me though. I am finding it hard to balance my time. I do like my work though....it's really nice for a change not to have a job that I HATE going to in the morning! I love it...the people are great, and I can really appreciate now why the boss lady spends so much time when interviewing people paying attention to peoples' personalities. That way, she chooses people that "mesh" well with everyone else that works there. I'm lucky in that I work with ladies who have lots of different backgrounds that got them into this field, and I am learning a LOT from them.

We got our tax return...it's gone. However, on the up side of things, my 70's fabulous shag carpeting is also GONE!!!!! Dear lord thank you, it's GONE!!!! We did the floor in our bedroom and Daniel's room, and we bought a new fridge, which we needed. With my luck, that old (harvest gold of course!) fridge would have died on us when it was 102 degrees in the summer!!!

Next, I need a new washer and dryer. What is WRONG with dryers? Have I ever mentioned how much I hate laundry? You know why? You put 10 socks in, and only 5 will come out....and NONE of them will match. Where the hell do they GO?! On top of that, my dryer is messed up, the drum isn't round or something...there is a gap between the drum and the front of the dryer, which things get caught in. Zippers, bra clasps, embellishments, buttons...these things don't stand a chance! I am terrified of putting anything that's nice in there for fear it won't come out the same as when I put it in!! I know not to put bras in the dryer...that's a no-no anyhow, but for crying out loud...how many things must get ruined?!

'Tis the Season

Apparently, blood donors are very jolly! Specifically the pheresis donors (they donate platlets and plasma). Yesterday, there was a never ending influx of stuff that they brought in for us...cookies, chocolates, cakes, cheesecake....it was wonderful.

We have radio ads running right now, about the critical shortages, especially of type O (positive and negative) blood. So this lady comes in....about five minutes before closing time. Then she tells us she's a slow bleeder. THEN she acts like a prima donna throughout the whole process...and she did bleed slow! We had five or six people right before we closed...we aren't allowed to turn them away. I think we were about 45 minutes late getting out. That's a wee bit annoying.

What's worse though, is the traffic. Good lord the traffic! Why do people turn in to morons at the holidays? It's like being on a road full of teenagers who've just gotten their learner permits! I know you must have seen the 5 speed limit signs you passed, all of which said 55mph. Why do you insist on driving 35 miles per hour, on a busy highway? Get OFF the highway and take the side roads if you want to drive slow. I am with everyone else...I want the bumper sticker...when I get old I am moving north and driving slow!!!

On another note, I got a 94% on my final exam at school!

Work, School, Christmas, Random News

Ok, so I am not quite as busy as I ought to be for Christmas. I haven't done any shopping. I'm horrible at that.

I started work at the Blood Bank on Monday. So far, it's nice there...slow paced, small, friendly people. The needles are freaking huge, which is a bit intimidating, to be honest. I'm exhausted, but the first check will be awfully nice.

I had my last class tonight (Tuesday), and I got a 94% on my final exam.

So have you all heard about Miss USA or Miss America, or whatever Drunkie the Pageant Queen stood for? They were going to take her crown away because she drinks and was doing drugs? Donald Trump stepped in and allowed her to keep it. What does he have to do with it? Does anyone really care? Does anyone even WATCH these silly pageants anymore? Heaven forbid we skip that story in lieu of some REAL news right? God no....instead we have to hear all about the pageant queen's exploits, Brittany's aversion to wearing underwear, and Paris' hatred for Lindsay. WHO CARES PEOPLE?! Good lord...if people in this country paid half as much attention to what's going on in the world (the IMPORTANT THINGS!) as they do to pop culture and hollywood gossip, perhaps things would get done in this country.

People Confuse Me

Saturday night, the 9th, we had our family holiday celebration at Epcot. The high ups at the Port had 2 buses to take us over there and back so we wouldn't have to drive ourselves. Great. Cory and I get there just in time to make the second bus, due to the fact that I really suck with directions, and I thought that it would be at the McDonald's at I-95 and 520, but it was actually at 524 and Clearlake Rd.

So we get to Epcot, and I kid you not we spent about 45 minutes on the bus. The driver wanted to drop us at the regular entrance, from the "Event Parking" lot. That's a long walk to the back of the World Showcase in evening wear. He argued with my bosses (all the supervisors were on the same bus as I was) that he wasn't authorized to take us back to the Cast Member entrance. HELLO! What on earth did you think you were going to do with a bus full of cast members?? On what planet would we not be authorized to go to a CAST MEMBER entrance, seeing as we ARE cast members? And why on earth would you not listen to people that are far higher up on the proverbial totem pole than you are?

We got into the party nearly an hour late. It was gorgeous though...it was all decorated in a Mardi Gras/Masquerade theme. The food was great, they gave lots of prizes away. They had a beer/wine bar, which every person got tickets for (2 free drinks per person). The decorations were really nice, and they had those nifty screens all over the place. Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, and Goofy were on hand to dance with. You know, I was really amused by that...I felt like a kid again lol. And Mickey and Minnie were available for photos, which were taken for free, and will be sent to us shortly.

Cory and I took a stroll over to "Italy" and he bought me a beautiful Venitian mask, which was hand painted there by an italian artist.

Just a Mom?

I've always liked this one....you may have already seen it in your email box at some point. No smart ass commentary on this one...I love it as is!


A woman, renewing her driver's license at the
County Clerk 's office was asked by the woman
recorder to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a......?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.
"I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife'
covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found
myself in the same situation, this time at our own
Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it?
I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair
and looked up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most
significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement
was written, in bold, black ink on the
official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new
interest,
"just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my
voice, I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research,
[what mother doesn't)
in the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then
the whole family) and already have four credits
(all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding
in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill
careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather
than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's
voice as she completed the form, stood up and personally
ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous
new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants --
ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development
program, testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than
"just another Mom." Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
"Senior Research associates in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations"
and great grandmothers
"Executive Senior Research Associates"?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
"Associate Research Assistants".

What Women Say....

Yet another chain email type thing that I feel the need to comment on. You will find my comments in red.

Words that women use (when they can't just open their mouths and say what they freaking MEAN!)

~FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you
need to shut up.
An immature way of handling things, instead of saying "FINE" and huffing off, TALK THINGS OUT instead of freaking arguing. Yes ladies, it is sometimes a sad fact of life, sorry to disappoint you, but every now and then you have to let go of high school crap and learn to be the bigger person and discuss problems like an adult ::gasp!::

~FIVE MINUTES

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game
before helping around the house.

Here's a concept....if you're going to need more than five minutes, freaking say so! And for the record ladies, it does not take a half an hour to get dressed. Most likely you've known how to dress yourself for years. Just pick something, stick to it, and move on to makeup and hair. And for the record, if it takes you more than a couple of minutes to put your makeup on, then it's probably time to chisel off a layer (or 3) and start over.

~NOTHING

this is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should
be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

If you're going to say that nothing is wrong, then mean it. Nobody is a mind reader...if something is wrong and you want to talk about it, then fucking say so. Otherwise, don't get pissy if people leave it at "nothing" and move on to more interesting topics.

~GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

If you don't want someone to do something, then again, SAY SO. I'm so tired of stupid moronic girl games. News flash...we all graduated quite some time ago!

~LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
over "Nothing"

If it really is "nothing" then don't argue about it. Loud sighs and eyerolling should only be accompanied by hair flips, foot stomps, and the phrase "I'm taking my toys and going home!" (understand my point here?)

~THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

This is the sibling to "nothing". If it's not OK than SAY SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you say it's ok, then they do it, then you have no freaking right to get pissy about it later.

~THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.

~"Whatever"

...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU

Ladies....grow a spine. If you mean "fuck you" then say it.

Wish me luck

Wish me luck. I have an interview with the blood bank Wednesday morning. I have heard they pay very very well, so hopefully I will get this job. Unfortunately, I will have no choice but to leave Disney if I get that job. Weekends are absolutely required. I would really rather not, but frankly, I would be an absolute moron to turn down a job, in the field I just went to school for, to keep Disney passes, don't you think? LOL.

Also, I've returned to Families.com blogging (yes, I am paid for it). It's a Disney blog, if you feel like it, check it out:

If you feel so inclined, link to it from your own site, I'd sure appreciate it!

A Thought...

First, I want to say that if you're looking, and paying attention, you can find insightful thoughts everywhere. I found this one on my paper towels, of all places, and believe it or not, I noticed it at a time when I was feeling particularly down because it was one of those days where everything seemed to be going wrong.

You can't change the direction of the wind but you can adjust the sail. - Jonathan Swift

Now on to business, so to speak. I did it, I braved Wally world on Friday morning. Being a raging insomniac has it's benefits. The fact that I was still WIDE awake at 3 am helped me beat the majority of the crowds to the store. At least those who were wanting toys. For the really BIG things, like that $494 52" television, people had been there since 8pm on Thanksgiving day, they only had five of them to sell. Anyhow, I got the V.Smile and the Thomas the Tank Engine Giant Set. Sale began at 5am. I grabbed what I wanted and checked out at 5:02am. Quick, easy, and painless. I was home and in bed by 6am.

I have to retract part of what I said about Black Friday shoppers being insane. I actually ran into some really nice people there! A couple of ladies were chatting with me, and we all compared lists and talked about the different deals around the city. We chatted about the toys on sale...shared opinions of those toys. We made fun of a few crazies, and a few not so bright employees. The two things I wanted were set up such that there was a pretty god distance between them. Since I wanted the V.Smile most, I waited near that one. THREE different ladies (all mommies too!) offered to grab an extra V.Smile for me so I could wait near the Thomas stuff. I thanked them profusely, but declined. For whatever reason, there weren't any customers waiting for the Thomas set. I don't know why....any Thomas fanatic (or parent of one!) knows that the Thomas sets and accessories are REALLY expensive. For $50 you got 10 feet of track, five feet of road, Thomas, 13 of his friends, bridge, train depot, and a bunch of other accessories. The packaging states that when configured as pictured, it's about 6 feet by 8 feet! This set would cost a FORTUNE normally....at least (I'm guessing) $125. It's the motorized Thomas stuff, plastics. No, no WAY that the wooden set would ever come down that much (HA wishful thinking for sure!!!), but this set is cool too, and the snap together tracks and roads make it (I think) better for littler kids, as the tracks won't come apart as easily as the wooden ones.

That's all I have...it's way too late (early!), and I must go and fake happy at work in the morning. Off to meet my sleepy meds and my bed!

Comments

I've switched to moderated comments, since some freaking morons keep posting SPAM in my comments section. Again, I am not intellectually deficient, so don't think that I will be stupid enough to join one of these spam-scam sites!

Turkey Day and a Dilemma

How was everyone's turkey day? I hope it was good for everyone! We had a great day. Cory's dinner went off without a hitch, as always. Beautiful, delicious turkey, as usual. He had the squash PERFECT, which is usually his only weakness. We never did eat the apple pie, no room for it! Daniel wanted mashed potatoes, and not much else of course.

It's 11:30 and I am debating still about going to Walmart in the morning. IF I do, I'll leave here about 2am. Maybe a bit earlier, I want to be there BEFORE the crazy crowds. I just want to grab the V.Smile and a couple movies, MAYBE a couple pairs of pajamas, but that's about it. I was going to get that brewstation for my mom, but she said she doesn't want a new coffee maker. She's a creature of habit...dear lord she'd still use a percolator if I'd let her. BLECH. Perc'ed coffee is pretty nasty stuff!

I'm still debating about going to EMT school. Money is a huge issue for us (newsflash: EMT's get paid CRAP! Which is why Cory and I don't always have much money!). Beyond that, Arrogant , Stupid and Self-serving Instructor (A.S.S. Instructor for short!) is a MAJOR issue for me. I know I can do the work, I know I can handle the job, I know I am up to the challenge. However, I have real issues with being treated like garbage, being treated as insignificant, subservient, inferior, and as if I am stupid. I don't honestly know if I can tolerate him. I've seen some BAD teachers in my days, but he is easily the worst.

I'll spend the rest of the holiday season making the decision. Perhaps I can get a higher dose of Xanax and then I can tolerate him lol. I can deal with anything and anyone if I am heavily medicated. Anyone want to contribute to my Xanax fund?!

Turkeys and Black Friday

Tomorrow is Turkey day. We have an 18lb bird brining right now. Cory follows the "Romancing the Bird" method for cooking a turkey, and it sounds completely odd and foreign to cook a bird in about three hours, I KNOW, but it always turns out REALLY well! Check it out if you have some time....there's still time to do your bird this way. And as an added bonus, it cooks so fast you don't have to get up at dark-thirty in the morning! Then he also makes his FABULOUS squash. Butternut squash, mash it up add a little brown sugar, and some bourbon. It's great! Candied yams are a favorite of mine, but nothing beats the mashed potatoes! I don't cook. I don't cook for people I LIKE that is. However I do make Waldorf Salad. I use the classic recipe, but mix a little sugar with the mayo to sweeten it up. Apparently it's not so popular down here, but it's a staple up north. It sounds gross, I know, but you don't taste MAYO because of the sugar, it tastes like a sweet creamy dressing. I've heard of people using Cool Whip or whipped cream instead, or even plain yogurt. It's cheaper to use the mayo, and the mayonnaise is richer and creamier. Modern Waldorf Salad recipes are also all over the place out there.

I am also making Cranberry-Orange relish this year. I refuse to use frozen cranberries, and I was finally able to find fresh ones at a decent price this year. It's super simple and really yummy. I remember making this in elementary school around Thanksgiving time. It was super easy, and really inexpensive, since I grew up on Cape Cod, and cranberries abound there. The only thing the teacher had to buy was Oranges. Kind of pricey up there, but you don't need MUCH to make this...it's a CRANBERRY relish, not an orange relish.

It makes me think about the bogs though. It was always so beautiful when they harvested the cranberry bogs. The picture at left is actually a bog I used to live next to. To the right is another pic of a bog being harvested.















I miss the holidays up north. So many things I remember doing are no longer even there. Like Edaville Railroad at Christmas time. (It's pronounced eee-duh-ville). It was a wonderland from a child's point of view, really.

I always felt that Thanksgiving was forgotten down here in school. Up north, especially in Mass. of course, it's taught from preschool on up. The history, which is a bit skewed I'm sure, but still, it's a BIG deal up there. Not so much here.

After Thanksgiving is, of course, Black Friday. Now I don't generally venture out into the battle field on BF. During many years in retail, I wasn't able to shop. I had to work. It wasn't scary then. I could get there early, hide behind my counter, and be safe. Shopping on the other hand, is madness. Watch the evening news on Friday. You're sure to hear about injuries, thefts, fights, stampedes, tramplings, lawsuits, and swindlers. WHY do people put themselves through that?! It has to be an INCREDIBLE deal on something I ALREADY planned to buy to get me to venture out. And I am not talking about $3-$4 off. It has to be REALLY REALLY great. I MIGHT venture out to Wally World to get the V-Smile for $30. They will also have that cool Brewstation for $25. Those are really great prices...both about half off, as you can see from the Amazon links. IF (and that's a BIG BIG IF!) I decide to go, I might pick up a few of the movies they'll have on sale for $2-$4 for stocking stuffers as well. I still don't know if I will though. That's awefully early to wake up, and some terribly scary crowds!

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving. Eat plenty, enjoy time with family and friends, take some time to laugh with them, and appreciate that you have them to share your holiday with. We usually say what we're thankful for. I think that's important...even if it is a little cheesy. It's a great tradition to teach your kids. If you go out on Friday, wear your body armor, be CAREFUL! Check out these tips for shopping the BF deals. If anyone is willing to go with me to Wally World at Dark Thirty in the morning Friday, call me!

It's a Small World

No, it really is lol. At work yesterday, I actually got to meet the woman that created the "It's a Small World" attraction for Disney. She's a sweet lady...and no, I did NOT pull that lame "I guess it's a small world" pun like I am using for my title on her! She was checking in for a cruise, and I got to check her in. It was odd to see a personnel badge that is dated 1942!

Other than that, I passed my Phlebotomy final exam, with a 94%, and I got all the sticks I needed, so I am pretty much officially a phlebotomist now. I start on EKG this week.

Work is going well...it's wicked easy, pretty mindless, so there's not much to report there.

We're setting up and getting ready for Thanksgiving here at home. Which means an oversized bird, and the traditional Cory vs my mom argument over how to cook the bird, and how to make the gravy, and how to do the potatoes and the squash. I just make my waldorf salad and hide till dinner.

Not so Random Facts and Info

I stumbled across this page, and found a number of facts related to Disney, which I work for, proudly, and quite happily, as a cast member. This company really does treat us VERY well, despite the rather low pay (when you have THAT many employees, I'd imaging it's not easy to pay them all really high!).

Disney World in Florida was opened to the public in 1971. The amusement park was the largest in the world, set within 28,000 acres. It required a $400-million investment, and did not do well during the first year it was opened. Only 10,000 people visited Disney World during that initial year. With time, however, the attendance numbers rose to more than 10,000 people an hour.

Here are some basic fun facts about Walt Disney World, so the next time you choose to go, you'll have a few secrets up your sleeve.

You can see the monorails changing tracks early in the morning, if you get one of the first buses to Magic Kingdom you can see the tracks move to let a new monorail on.

If you make a right onto Center St. (the street that crosses Main at its center) you will here a singing lesson and a ballet class coming from the windows marked "Singing Lessons" and "School of Dance". They're quite neat to listen to.

While walking down Main Street, the Realty company building (M.T. Lott Realty). This name was one of Walt's fake names under which he purchased land in the Orlando area. If you read it fast it reads "Empty Lot". A reporter from Miami investigated the company and found out that the owner of M.T. Lott Realty was Mrs. Minnie Mouse. He did this so that when he bought the property the owners wouldn't jack up the prices on him knowing who he was. Walt bought his first acre of land for $80 and his last for $80,000
This is one of my favorite facts I never knew that I learned from "Traditions" the orientation class.

Haunted Mansion
does the floor descend or does the ceiling rise in the Haunted Mansion's Portrait Chamber (aka the stretching room)? Well...both--it depends on the location. As with Pirates of the Caribbean, the space-strapped Disneyland in California needed to transport guests to a large building beyond the park's berm. The Chamber is actually an elevator that takes guests down to an underground passageway, which leads to the show building. Disneyland Paris' Phantom Manor uses the same concept. In the Florida and Tokyo versions however, space is less of an issue, so the ride building is directly behind the facade. In those stretching rooms, the ceiling rises, and guests remain on the same level.

The Carousel of Progress, located in the magic Kingdom was first introduced at the New York Worlds Fair in 1963 and 1964. It was so successful that Walt Disney added the attraction to Disneyland in 1967. In 1973, the attraction was moved to Walt Disney World where it remains today.

Resort guests are welcome to ride in the front car of the monorail. when boarding, just ask the attendant if the seat is available. The front car can accommodate 4 people in addition to the operator. It's yours just for the asking.

Get those Fastpasses! Fastpasses save so much time and frustration that I still marvel at how many visitors don't take advantage of the system. When you enter the Magic Kingdom, have in mind which attraction you'd most like to experience and make a b-line for the Fastpass kiosk for that attraction. Your Fastpass time will most likely be an hour from the time you receive it, so that will give you plenty of time to shop, see another attraction, or get some breakfast if you planned on doing breakfast at the park.

Totally Random Useless Fact for Thursday

If you are hedenophobic, you have a fear of pleasure.


Can you imagine such a life? Never being able to get pleasure from anything because you have a terrible fear of being happy? Well, perhaps we all know people like that. Ever have a girl friend who was constantly choosing the wrong guy, even though she knew he was not good for her? Perhaps they actually have a fear of pleasure? Hmm....something to think about.

Stupid Jackasses

Don't SPAM my blog with comments about scams where I can make money spamming other people. Do I actually seem that intellectually deficient?

For my friends....

I feel the need to offset all of this negativity with some good thoughts. I want my friends to know how I feel, and how much I appreciate them. You have all had a hand in making me who I am, for whatever it's worth. Now please, all of you remember, that these aren't in a particular order lol.

Cory - The love of my life. You've had a big hand in making me the person I am today. You never cease to amaze me. You are so good at what you do, I just wish you were more confident in yourself. You are a wonderful EMT, and one day you will be a phenomenal medic. People respect you because you act in a way that is worthy of respect. I love you for the way you are always willing to help others, and I love the way you push others to be the best at what they do. YOU my dear, would make a phenomenal teacher. I love the way you love, with a fiery passion. I love that you know that it's the small things that mean so very much.

Jon - No matter what, you've always been there for me. I appreciate that you are always honest with me, and that you don't sugar coat things. You tell me what I NEED to hear, even though it's not always what I WANT to hear. You have helped me to have the confidence to do what I am doing in school now. You would also, make a phenomenal teacher. You teach in such a way that makes people WANT to be better at what they do. You're a kind man, with a huge heart. You're one of the truest friends a person could have, and always my best girlfriend ;)

Heather - What can I say? Jon chose a wonderful woman to be his partner for life. You are fiercely loyal as a friend, and endlessly caring and compassionate. I love you for always being there for me, and listening without judging me. You help me be a better mother, and I appreciate that. You cheered me on through my whole pregnancy, and help me to know that I don't have to be a super mom, I don't have to be a perfect mom, I just have to be a loving mom who wants the best for her child. It means so very much to me too, that you treat my son just like he is one of your own. I can see that it does so much for him, knowing that Auntie Heather loves him. Family is all to important, and you guys are my family just as much as my own blood.

Sheena - I don't have the space to tell you all I would like to. You saved me from myself. You made me choose to respect myself more. You make me want to be a better woman. You made me realize, when I had all but forgotten, that it's ok to be myself. That's all I have to be, and that I AM good enough. You treated me with the utmost respect, when a lesser woman wouldn't have. You were there for me even when you may have needed someone to be there for YOU more. You inspire me to try and be a better, nicer person, and you helped me re-learn how to let things go sometimes. You helped me to break down my walls, and remember how nice it feels not to be on guard all the time. You have a heart of gold, and don't you dare EVER let anyone take that away from you.

Laurie - You must be the sweetest person I have ever met. I've never met a more giving person. You were always there for me, to steady me when I falter, and to catch me when I fall, both figuratively and literally! You gave me confidence in myself as a mother. Thank you.

Pete - Aww Pete. You have always been able to make me laugh. You have always helped me when I really needed it. You've been a good friend to my Cory, and that means a lot to me as well. You're like a brother that neither of us ever actually had. You know what? Thanks for looking out for cory all those years.

Jaci - Well, I never knew late nights of Canasta and scrabble could be so fun. You made me remember how much fun it really can be to just have a "girls night"

Kelly - You're my number one fan dear. I mean that in the best way. Nobody has ever cheered me on like you do. You have so much confidence in me that I feel that I can't fail. Thank you for believing in me, and inspiring me (as well as enabling) to go after this career choice. I didn't really believe I could do it until I talked to you. I love that you are proud of me when I do well! That feels better than you can imagine. Like Sheena, you've always made me feel like it's ok to just BE myself. Just being me is good enough, and I never used to believe that.

Angelique - You are compassionate almost to a fault. You inspired a love for art in me, and taught me how to forgive, but more importantly, how to let go of a grudge. You were nice to me when you should have hated me. You took the first step, you were the bigger person, and I gained a good friend because of it.

Egotistical, self abosorbed....

Worst of all, he's a horrid teacher. What on earth would make anyone think they're a good teacher, when he can stand there, and cuss a student out in front of a classroom...and tell that student that they "disgust" him? What the hell? Not only did he cuss her out about it, it was for something that she did RIGHT.

A teacher shouldn't think that he knows everything, and I think a GOOD teacher is open to learning things from their students as well. A GOOD teacher inspires his students to do well, for the sake of bettering themselves, rather than out of fear of him. A GOOD teacher pushes his students to do well, and encourages them, he doesn't try to break them down and look for things to critcize them about.

“Don't try to fix the students, fix ourselves first. The good teacher makes the poor student good and the good student superior. When our students fail, we, as teachers, too, have failed.” - Marva Collins

It's become more and more apparent to me that this man is not a teacher. He teaches as if he is a dictator. He challenges his students in such a way that it appears that he delights in their failure. He wants them to fail. He cares about nothing but proving (or shall I say TRYING to prove) that he knows more than everyone. Sound like a small man complex to anyone else?

I think these things are so very apparent because this man doesnt teach me, he teaches a friend. At the same school, I am fortunate in that I have a WONDERFUL teacher. He readily admits that he doesn't know EVERYTHING, and he always welcomes new ideas. He seems to love getting questions that he has to think about. You can not get any criticizm out of this man without also hearing about what you did well. He's very encouraging...which is most likely why nobody in his class has less than an "A" average, even though his tests are challenging. He doesn't go easy on us, but he doesn't challenge us...instead he makes us want to challenge ourselves. He expects a lot from us, but he ALSO gives us the tools, the encouragement, and the confidence to achieve those high standards that he has set forth. He's never unavailable should we need help. He makes it abundantly clear that we should strive to learn more...not to please him, but to BETTER ourselves. He lets us know that he is proud of us. THAT is a good teacher. His colleage however, isn't even in the same league as him.

I hope that our program director comes to recognize this. He is also a great teacher. He is a teacher that every student at the school holds in the highest regard, because he genuinely seems, as does my instructor, that he wants to teach us, because he wants us to do well. He wants us to succeed. I WANT to take the other class, that the idiot teaches, but I won't. I cannot subject myself to that abuse. I refuse to be talked down to, when I know I am a smart person. It kills me to see him destroying these students' confidence, breaking them down, and likely discouraging many of them from even entering this noble career field.

HE disgusts me, moreso than any teacher I've ever met. He disgusts me even more than the teacher I once had who flat out called me stupid in the middle of class.

All I can say is, in my opinion, a teacher shouldn't act like he is the alpha male...he shouldn't act as if every student is there to challenge him and takeover, like he is protecting his ground. The truest measure of a good teacher is to teach the students so well that they may surpass him.

I feel bad for his students. They haven't got the confidence in themselves that they should have. They are the ones who are being hurt in all of this. Great...they paid a lot of money to be broken down and taught how to doubt themselves.