Why am I Broke?

Why am I Broke?

I overspent at Christmas this past year, and just about everywhere else. While we weren’t living beyond our means, we weren’t spending responsibly, our income and outgoings were about equal. I had slacked off on saving for most of the year, blowing a lot of money on a family reunion/vacation, then birthdays and Christmas. I had resolved to build our savings back up with the new year. “No problem” I told myself, we would just buckle down. I wasn’t worried. I had a stable job that I’d held for 5 years, with a growing company. I had just gotten a promotion that included a $5K pay increase per year (plus commissions and bonuses), and my husband would be getting his annual 2.5% increase as well. Between that, and our tax return, and the profit sharing bonus that I would be getting on February 1, of about $2000, we should be back on track in no time. I could pay off the few credit cards we have, and build back a reasonable amount in savings.

I was looking forward to my new position, which became official on January 19^th. I spent the third week of January working about 65 hours (in one week) at training, and studying for a couple of hours each night for tests at work. I did my best to balance that insanity with my son’s school activities, karate classes, and still found a bit of time to spend with my husband. Then on January 28^th, the last day of our national training/meeting at work, I got home around 4:30pm. I was exhausted, but I had learned a lot, and was anxious to jump into my new duties the next morning. About a minute after walking in my door, I got a call from the COO of my company, and he told me he needed me to come back in to speak with me. By 5:45pm I was back home, with no job. I had been let go. I will spare you the details, because they’re completely baffling and asinine. It was combination of twisted details and fabricated “facts” that was all untrue. In most other states, I would have grounds for a lawsuit. Since I live in a “right to work” state, however, I have nothing at all by way of recourse. This was done conveniently 3 days before that profit sharing bonus was to be paid out. So I wouldn’t be receiving that either (“must be present to win!” we’ve been told).

So now I am in a sticky mess of a situation. Our household income has been halved and we have no healthcare coverage. I can receive unemployment benefits for a short time, but that’s literally a pittance, especially when compared to what I was bringing home. I have a family and three dogs, mortgage, car payment, and all the other usual bills. We’ve become accustomed to a certain way of living, and it is expensive. I also realized that 80% of the clothes I owned that might be suitable for an interview don’t fit, because in addition to the increased money and bills, my job came with a 50lb increase on my scale as well.

I allowed myself a few days of self-pity. I cried almost non-stop for 24 hours. I was so shocked, and hurt by the accusations made by my company, in spite of proof that I had given them to the contrary. This company has been preaching that they are a family, and that they value everyone…it goes on and on. I had bought it all, and drank the Kool-Aid. It took me the better part of a week of self-pity, and anger, and then some deep thinking, to realize that this company is a toxic place to be. I have realized that while this puts me in an extremely tough situation, I’m better off not being a part of that place anymore. I realized, now that my time was all freed up, just how much time I had been devoting to these quacks. I had let my job consume the majority of my life.

So now it is on to more important things. While daydreaming about how Karma will bite the powers that be at that company IS quite fun, it is not productive and will not help my family in any way at all.

So I started focusing on the disaster that my house had become. I’ve always been a complete failure at housekeeping anyhow, but taking a good look around, I realized that my house was just embarrassing. Not filth, mind you, I’m not a pig, but clutter…just piles of crap everywhere! Every horizontal surface had piles of papers, mail, and miscellaneous debris of day to day life. Then I got overwhelmed thinking about tackling it all, so I ate a half a box of Girl Scout cookies (best timing EVER!) and went to bed.

I’ve gotten up each morning to take my son to school, and thought about exercising, since I really have nothing else to do now. Then I decided not to even get out of my pajamas, and I went back to bed for a nap. I got up, sifted through another half dozen emailed “thanks but no thanks” rejection letters from the places I’d submitted my resume to. Then I tackled the other half of those cookies. Never let anyone tell you that I don’t finish what I start.

So you get the idea. Very “chick flick” stuff. Several days of wallowing in misery, pitying myself, and generally making matters…well not worse, but not any better. I managed to shower, but that’s really the best I could manage. I did nothing with my hair, my nail polish was chipped and the edges ragged, and I was living in sweats and tank tops, probably with on the way to another 50 pound gain. Thursday night I went to bed more miserable than ever, because on top of all of this, I’d gotten into a ridiculously nasty fight with my husband, that truthfully, I started. He’s tried to be supportive and encouraging. I was just too busy feeling sorry for myself that I couldn’t let him be those things.

Friday morning, when I got up, I decided that this HAD to stop. So I washed up, and put some real clothes on. I decided that after I took kiddo to the bus, I was going to walk. At least I could do SOMETHING productive. So I walked on the trail at the park. I put my headphones in, and walked. The weather here has been gorgeous (don’t hate me) and I was liking the sun on my face, and the fresh air. So I kept walking. After about 5 miles though, my legs and feet hurt. It hit me just how much of the last 5 years I’d spent sitting on my ever-expanding ass! So I came back home, and decided to tackle some of that. It’s amazing how productive one can be on a Friday with nothing else to do! I didn’t have the usual excuses of “I have to get to work” or “I’m too tired from working all day” to fall back on. I scoured my kitchen. I even cleaned under the stove top. I did about 6 loads of laundry. I cleaned my counters and tables off, and my kitchen, at least, is spotless now. I haven’t tackled the rest of the house, but I’m all about baby steps.

I sat down with my computer, and figured out our expenses. I realized that, as long as we tighten our belts (no more ordering take-out!) that we should have about $600-700 a month after bills are paid. It’s not much, but thinking back, we’ve been worse off before. I pulled up the sale ads and the coupons and got to work. I’ve never had the time to do what these “crazy couponers” do, but at least I could save some money right? Well I came back from the grocery store that afternoon with a receipt that declared I had saved $76.40 on my bill (I paid about $32 for a week’s worth of meals)! It’s a start! I started thinking about other things that we could cut back on. It occurred to me that since I’d become so acclimated to the freezing cold office, we’d made a habit out of using the air conditioner constantly, at a really cold temperature. Did we really need the house to be 73 degrees all day? I opened up all the windows, and my air conditioner hasn’t been on for about 5 days. I was comfortable, and it was about 78 degrees in my house at the warmest part of the day with all the windows open. I was chilly last night at 75! At least my electric bill will go down right? Then I thought about more ways I could cut back. Did I really need to use the dishwasher? Ours is older, so it’s not a super-efficient model. I have nothing else I need to be doing, so I’ve been just hand washing the dishes after they’re used. I’m sure this will trim the water bill a bit. I must be saving some $$ on the electric by actually folding the clothes when the dryer is done too, instead of restarting it 3-4 times before I get around to folding.

I made a point of dressing to the nines (adorable suit, cute heels, hair and makeup done) when I went to pick up my last check. I had nowhere I was going, but I simply didn’t want to look defeated. I wanted them to look at me and wonder where I was heading, and maybe even make them think they’d made a huge mistake in letting me go. I want them to know that this is their loss, not mine. I wanted to hold my head high and not let them see me cry.

I’m determined to make ends meet. This is all just a part of a bigger plan. I don’t know what that plan is, and I am not even 100% sure about what I believe spiritually, but I think if I don’t keep believing that there are better things in store for me, I’ll go insane. So that’s my pointless rambling. My resolution for this year is being tested more than ever. However, I’ve never been a quitter (see the cookie anecdote above) and I refuse to be defeated by this. I may not have much, hell I’m not even “comfortable” financially right now, but I do have plenty. I have a loving husband, a wonderful son, and a supportive family, and friends who are all too accommodating, whether to listen to me bitch occasionally, or to be enraged at this company on my behalf. I’m luckier than I previously realized. I’m trying to focus on the positive. So for today, my positive thought is, at least I have the time to have written this. I obviously need to improve, but it’s been a long time since I sat down to write. I had nearly forgotten how good it feels.

Life....

So life has been....busy. I am tired ALL the time, and I don't know why. I don't know if it's stress, of something actually wrong with me. The docs seem to think it's all in my head, so I guess that's what I'll go with, for now.

My first semester (back) at school is over. I didn't do as well as I had hoped, since I completely screwed up on my dates and forgot to take my med term final. I am planning to finish my AA degree in Spring 2012, and then transfer to UCF to get my Bachelor's in Psychology. I'm all set up to take Algebra and Comm 2 in the summer, then Stats and Spanish in the fall.

I have an MRI scheduled for Wednesday morning to try and find out what's wrong with my shoulder. All I know is that it's been hurting since July of last year. The pain used to come and go, but about 2 months ago, it came, and never went. We tried PT, with no luck. We tried cortisone shots, and that didn't work either. It took care of the constant ache, but the shooting pains are still there.

It's Been Way Too Long

How pathetic is it that I haven't written in this blog since September 2007. Two and a half years. That's horrible. So let's catch up, shall we? A month after my last blog, in October of '07, I had to have my appendix out. Of course the evil minions I worked for weren't thrilled. They so graciously allowed me to have a week off to recover (please, read that with as much sarcasm as your mind can create). That evil bitch of a lab manager actually asked me, when I called her, FROM my hospital bed, to drive a note to her when I was released that afternoon. My surgeon didn't release me to go back after a week though, and the minions were not o.k.with a second week, so they fired me. Apparently, this was completely legal. Now keep in mind that I did not have a nice laparoscopic surgery. My appendix was too inflamed and they feared it would burst if they had done that, so I had an incision a few inches long, and I am a slow healer. Combine that with the fact that my job involved long periods of standing, assisting older patients in and out of their outdated chairs, and lots of bending, and there was just no way I was going to be able to go back after a week. They were kind enough to call me...at ten minutes to 5 on Friday night (I let them know on WEDNESDAY that I would need more time) to tell me that if I didn't return on Monday, I had no job there. Happy Birthday to me!

Fast forward to November, the day before Thanksgiving, November 21. Cory hopped on his motorcycle to take a ride to his father's house and pick up a movie. About 45 minutes later, as I am cleaning the kitchen, I get a phone call from his dad to tell me that Cory had been in an accident. A stupid ignorant ass had turned quickly in front of Cory to get into the parking lot of a grocery store. He didn't look where he was turning, or just didn't see Cory, and there wasn't room enough for him to pull into the entrance anyhow, so he stopped across Cory's lane. I totally understand how a bright red motorcycle ridden by someone in a bright red helmet, with a bright red jacket can be hard to see in the middle of the day. Cory laid down the bike, rather than going through the windows of the van at 40mph. He hit the back of the van, and the bike hit the front. He broke his Femur, but that was the extent of his injuries, aside from some slight road rash, thank God. His jacket did its job, and so did his helmet, as he slid face first on the pavement. Now I was out of a job, and Cory was out of work for 3 months. He had used up what little vacation time he had to stay home and care for me after my surgery. Thankfully Cory has immensely caring coworkers who donated time to him.

I found a job in February of 08, and have been there ever since. I work for a great company, I like most of my coworkers, and I truly love my job. The benefits are fantastic, the pay is good, and I work for people who actually give a damn (imagine that!).

So, that's where we are at now. My son is now 7 years old, and finishing up 1st grade. He's a handful and a half, but he's wonderful. He's amazingly bright and very funny, even if a bit incorrigible at times.

You Know You're From Florida When...

This little email joke sums up a lot of my rants regarding tourists, and the think they assume about those of us who live here. It really ought to be titled "You know Someone Is NOT From Florida When they Think Like This!"

"Down South" means Key West.
-Yeah, pretty much....sometimes we are referring to Miami or West Palm though

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
-Who wrote this? A tourist? I've never heard of any Floridian refer to Pensacola this way

Flip-flops are everyday wear.
-No..no they are not, you idiots. Guess what? We have jobs, and lives, just like everyone else...we don't all wear flip flops every day. Occasionally we can even be found wearing sneakers or dress shoes!

Shoes are for business meetings and church.
-No...again, we don't live in flip flops, and frankly most of us know why it's a stupid idea to go barefoot outside when it's hot out. YOU try having a 2nd degree burn that covers the entire ball and heel of your foot from the pavement that's so hot you could LITERALLY cook an egg.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.
-No, they are not. Not for any person who has an ounce of respect or class at least.

Socks are only for bowling.
-Please, just read the prior three answers.

Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.
-Actually, fresh is not always the greatest...it really depends on what kind of oranges you are using. The ones in my yard for example, do not make the best juice...they are great for eating though.

Tap water makes you vomit.
-What the hell does this have to do with Florida? Not a damn thing. For the record though, it really depends on the city you live in. Here, it's not so bad, but water from the City of Melbourne is NASTY

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
-I suppose....but this isn't a Florida thing. This is really a thing that is reserved more for your "down home" southern states...Georgia, Mississippi, etc.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
-Nope...we don't have water quite close enough for their liking...but we see them often.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
-Well, yeah, I will admit, I do.

You measure distance in minutes.
-Sometimes...and I also know that not every damned thing in the state is 15 minutes from Disney!

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
-Please refer back to the flip flop statement. We do have normal clothing...and it does get chilly down here in the winter. It's not COLD, but it's plenty chilly enough to wear sweaters and sweatshirts. Besides that, you tourists REALLY ought to know that you should have a sweatshirt handy at all times of the year, because once you morons get sunburned, you're going to learn that as soon as you are out of the sun, you get chills.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
-I could care less.

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
-Just like everyone in the country, I use an umbrella when I don't feel like getting wet! Whether the rain is over in five minutes or not is really not important.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.
Umm...no?

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
-The tallest "mountain" in the state is Space Mountain at WDW.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
-Shade doesn't do you any good anyhow.

Your winter coat is made of denim
-Well that's just stupid.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
-Any moron with eyes could tell that.

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
-No, actually most of us are really quite annoyed at all the ancient people here.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
-No, believe it or not, we have fairly distinguishable seasons, and our idea of hot isn't the same as yours.

It's not "pop." It's "soda" or "coke."
-It's soda, unless what we actually WANT is Coca-Cola. Then we order Coke.

Anything under 70 is chilly.
-No...that's pleasant. Under 60 is chilly.

You've attended a hurricane party.
-No...we can't afford to throw parties every two weeks.

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.
-No, we go for full days, we just don't go at the busiest times of the year.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
-Believe it or not, there are a lot of us who do not have cockroaches in our homes. We also understand the NECESSITY of pest control to keep them out.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee , Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
-They aren't that difficult...you people are just trying too hard.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
-Boats are a pain in the ass.

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
-Yes....have you ever driven through a town in your state to get to another?

Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include various fish, the NRA and a confederate flag.
-That could happen anywhere...fishing is not only popular in Florida.

You were 8 before you realized they made houses without pools.
-Actually, since I lived in MA until I was 10, this is untrue. Even still, you morons are stereotyping again. There are TONS of us without pools, because we know that the cost of keeping a pool up all year long is enormous.

You were 12 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
-There are lots of people down here who cannot swim

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
-Sure, we don't like it that way though

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!
-Yes, we do. We like to avoid getting stung by these buggers....however it's not necessarily common everywhere in the state to encounter stingrays.

You could swim before you could read.
-Yes, we teach our kids to swim early. It's easier for most kids to learn to swim than to read. Furthermore, if you've ever watched the news down here in the summertime, and heard just how many kids DROWN because their parents were too stupid to watch them, and couldn't be bothered teaching them to swim, you would understand WHY we teach them early.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
-I think every business should aspire to be more like Publix.

Every other house had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
-Yeah, this is always good...make fun of the fact that we were hammered by hurricane after hurricane. You know what, at least we PREPARED and took care OF OUR OWN, rather than sitting here helpless waiting for handouts after being too stupid to evacuate when told to, and too ignorant to prepare properly for what could happen.

You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it
got dark.
-What the hell? Who tells you morons these things?

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
-See the answer about the roofs. We know full damn well that a Cat 2 can do a LOT of damage, and they are all worth taking seriously. Ok...maybe not a Cat 1.

You dread the lovebug seasons.
-Do you like bugs? Do you like hundreds of thousands of bugs? Neither do we.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
-It saves time when talking, and we all know what we are talking about.

You know why flamingos are pink.
-Yeah, so?

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
-A Six foot gator is still damned big!

You were twelve before you ever saw snow or you still haven't.
-Nope....I havent seen snow SINCE then

When the northerners complain that 80 is 'so hot', you just stand there and smile.
-The 80's are still pretty hot....we don't have a monopoly on heat, just like they don't have a monopoly on cold.

You refer to the seasons as "Tourist Season", "Fire Season" "Hurricane Season" and "Mosquito Season"
-Every freaking day is tourist season. Mosquitos go into hiding for maybe 2 weeks. Hurricane season spans a good portion of the year. Fire season overlaps the hurricanes. Now there's Snowbird Season...that's a whole other story, they are WORSE than tourists.

It's THAT time again...

If you live in Florida, you know all too well that June 1 is the start of the official hurricane season. You also know that we are unlikely to see any action before fall. I hate hurricane season. I don't hate it because I'm afraid of a killer storm, although that's always a worry of course. I hate it because with the season comes incredible amounts of insanity and stupidity. The instant a storm is named and might possibly be a threat to this area, the crazies come out to play. Nearly every night on the news you will hear about the standard hurricane preparations. Almost nobody actually takes these suggestions. Instead, let's go through what actually happens when people try to prepare for a hurricane.

Step 1: Buy every drop of gasoline you possibly can, even if you have absolutely no use for it. It will be common to see people bringing every conceivable gasoline storage container, legal or not, to local gas stations to wait in line and buy every drop. Why? Well you might need it so that when something sparks in the garage that you are storing it in, your house will burn down instead of being destroyed by an "act of God" since there is no real home owner's insurance to be had here anymore. If for some reason your home does not burn to the ground because you were born one clown short of a circus, then you can switch roles, and be an opportunistic jerk, and sell that gas for triple or quadruple what you paid for it. That is, you can until someone catches you, in which case your status returns to stupid.

Step 2: BUY ALL THE SPAM! Why? I don't know...who really eats that crap? Doesn't matter....SPAM and anything that resembles it will be disappearing from the shelves like you wouldn't believe. The vienna sausages, deviled ham, and other shelf stable canned food-like items will also disappear. For some odd reason, mayonnaise and mustard will also fly off the shelves. Don't ask me why. Go ask the idiot that has no real food, and no water, and is living on condiments.

Step 3: Wood....must buy plywood! After you've bought every USELESS thing the grocery store has to offer, go to the home improvement store. Buy as much plywood as you possibly can. Even though it's a pain in the neck to put up, and you only have a few windows, buy it all. You will need those sheets of plywood leaning up against the wall in the garage. These will serve as fuel for the fire you started as a result of step one.

Step 4: Throw it in the pool! If you have ANYTHING outside of your home, you should throw it in the pool immediately. I don't understand this one either. I'm the idiot that just drags my crap INSIDE the house, or in to the garage that, due to my neglect of steps one and three, will sadly not catch on fire in that manner. However, it is customary to throw EVERYTHING into the pool. My best guess is that this is so that you have something to entertain you when it's 100+ degrees outside and you have no power. Now you can spend that free time digging crap up off the bottom of the pool. This activity is also entertainment for the neighbors who will point and laugh.

Step 5: Don't Trim! Don't you dare trim back those stupid trees you spent a fortune on in your yard. Why on EARTH would you DO that? If you do that, what is going to be left to fly through your neighbors' windows? These branches won't fly through your windows, but since your neighbors couldn't buy ANYTHING to board their windows with (see step 3) your thoughtfulness on this manner would be appreciated.

Long time, no blog

Forgive me, life has been....well, life! I am still at the blood bank, but only for two more weeks. Don't get me wrong, I love it there, and I love the people I work with, but it's not a job with a terribly exciting future. I can maybe get a full time position, in a few years when someone retires. Even then, to get my full time status and get their "free" benefits, I will have to take a pay cut, of nearly $2 per hour. I took a chance, and submitted my resume to Osler Medical, in Melbourne. They called me in less than 24 hours, and I got an offer. Same money I make now, but FT, with benefits (GOOD benefits), paid time off, and a really good opportunity to go further. They hired me as a lab assistant, so they will teach me to work the whole lab. That gives me so much more versatility, I just can't turn down that offer.

Other than that, there isn't much going on. Life is going mostly smoothly. Work, family, and finally being, for the most part, financially comfortable and secure. I will write more soon. As soon as I have something to write at least.

I Suck

I swore I would keep this blog updated. I suck....working full time has taken its toll on me though. I am finding it hard to balance my time. I do like my work though....it's really nice for a change not to have a job that I HATE going to in the morning! I love it...the people are great, and I can really appreciate now why the boss lady spends so much time when interviewing people paying attention to peoples' personalities. That way, she chooses people that "mesh" well with everyone else that works there. I'm lucky in that I work with ladies who have lots of different backgrounds that got them into this field, and I am learning a LOT from them.

We got our tax return...it's gone. However, on the up side of things, my 70's fabulous shag carpeting is also GONE!!!!! Dear lord thank you, it's GONE!!!! We did the floor in our bedroom and Daniel's room, and we bought a new fridge, which we needed. With my luck, that old (harvest gold of course!) fridge would have died on us when it was 102 degrees in the summer!!!

Next, I need a new washer and dryer. What is WRONG with dryers? Have I ever mentioned how much I hate laundry? You know why? You put 10 socks in, and only 5 will come out....and NONE of them will match. Where the hell do they GO?! On top of that, my dryer is messed up, the drum isn't round or something...there is a gap between the drum and the front of the dryer, which things get caught in. Zippers, bra clasps, embellishments, buttons...these things don't stand a chance! I am terrified of putting anything that's nice in there for fear it won't come out the same as when I put it in!! I know not to put bras in the dryer...that's a no-no anyhow, but for crying out loud...how many things must get ruined?!